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NewlywedsMarriage is the committed union of two individuals into a “higher principle” for which failure, because it is always an option, is simply NOT an option! 

The “higher principle” involved obligates each-to-each, and each-to-the-other, to take very good care of self in service of self, but also in very good service of the other. 

At a minimum, in order for any marriage to be, and to become, “healthy, mature and adult”, it requires ongoing effort, each moment, every moment, each day, every day, all the days of married life, to earn respect, win cooperation and evolve trust with which to effect influence by mutual consent. 

                                                                                The Dance of Marriage

Men are not women and women are not men! 

They are not made the same. They do not function the same. They do not process the same. They are not supposed to be the same. 

Each needs the other, in order to learn from the other, what neither can possibly ever hope to learn or to know without the help of the other, to become a “whole” person”, let alone to participate in and contribute to a “whole relationship”.


In our view, marriage is a verb, not a noun. 

It is an organic life-form which is alive and demands loyal and vigilant tending-to, from beginning to end, as if it were a newborn growing up from its undisciplined infancy to a seasoned maturity. 

Thus, every marriage starts out with at least one “child”, the marriage

That “child” needs both of its “parents” to provide what it needs, wants and requires for the “child” to survive and to thrive. 

There are no “excuses”, only what is done.


Couple Butting HeadsAlong the way, conflict will inevitably occur and is always guaranteed to be “hard-wired” into the fabric of each and every marriage, sooner or later. 

The “good news” is that growth invariably occurs through the successful resolution of conflict. 

In the absence of conflict, and its relevant, meaningful and useful resolution, growth does not occur.  Consequently, the consistent and appropriate handling of conflict is essential for a relationship to work. 

If something is “not good” for one person in a marriage, then it is likely not good for the marriage.

“Win-win” means no one loses that which they surely must not lose.

 So happy together

Traditional marriage counseling can sometimes be a long, drawn out process with weeks and months devoted to figuring out what the major “breaches and blocks” are which have adversely affected the relationship. 

Oftentimes, couples report satisfaction with the results and go on their merry way. 

In some instances, the problems require intensive intervention in the shortest amount of time with an experienced guide who can “shake-up” the system and help make it better.


Northern Illinois Counseling Associates, P.C. (NICA) offers “no-fault” counseling alternatives to failure in your marriage. 

With more than thirty years of professional clinical experience helping hundreds of couples “save” their marriages, the Clinical Psychologists of NICA have the demonstrated skills and abilities to assert:

“We Know How To Make Relationships Work”!!! 

Happily Ever After

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The material presented within this website is informational only and is not intended as a substitute for professional services and assistance. We have endeavored to present accurate information, but cannot guarantee that the information on these web pages is always current or correct. We do not assume responsibility for any consequences that may result from using this web page or any sites. We do not necessarily endorse or support the contents, claims, or representations of the websites we provide links to, in whole or in part. While we try to respond to inquiries, we are unable to offer professional advice via email. If you require urgent care, contact Northern Illinois Counseling Associates, P.C. (NICA) at 815-455-6736 or email us at [email protected] to schedule an appointment. If you require emergency care, contact 911 or go the emergency center of your local hospital.

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