Northern Illinois Counseling Associates, P.C.

A Tradition of Excellence

Home Staff Services FAQs Forms Contact Us

Marriage Rules/Wedding Rings

Marriage Rules©


By Dr. Larry B. Gelman


The human condition, by definition, is “perfectly imperfect”. 


For it to be otherwise, human beings could not sustain being human. 


So, too, with all human relationships. 


What each has in common is the fundamental “human condition” which characterizes them.


It seems to me that if the human condition were not human, then it would be something other than it is meant to be. 


And because human beings and their relationships are “perfectly imperfect”, then so too are all marriages.


Is it any wonder then that even the best marriages occasionally strain to the breaking point? 


In fact, virtually every enduring, healthy, mature, adult relationship I have ever been acquainted with, either professionally, or personally, has, at one or more times during its course, been in extremely serious trouble. 


This is neither good nor bad except insofar as what the couple does, or does not do, to resolve their struggle. 


Where the struggle is avoided, the marriage risks suffering in “a void” and a significant growth opportunity may be forever lost. 


Where the struggle is embraced, the marriage experiences its reflection in itself and “faces up” to whatever next steps may be necessary for it to heal.


Where the struggle results in a continuing failed solution, psychological or legal divorce may occur.


By the time two people find themselves in divorce court, the judge - if s/he grants it - will sign a document called, in the State of Illinois, a “Decree of Dissolution of Marriage”. 


“Dissolution” is a dysfunctional solution or, more properly, a failed solution!


Can it be that couples just aren’t smart enough to figure out the right answers in the allotted time? 


Or might it be possible that most people think just fine? 


The real problem is how they feel and in what manner they utilize those feelings to energize their perceptions and judgments to empower themselves by acting constructively.


From my point of view, to be “perfectly imperfect” is actually quite a relief. 


No one has to get it right all of the time. 


No one has to be in the wrong all of the time. 


No one has to know everything all the time. 


No one has to be everything all the time.


“Perfectly imperfect” is about as perfect, that perfect can be.


Back to Top


Single Copy License Terms of Use

For a print version of the specific document on this webpage, you are welcome to click "Perfectly Imperfect" subject to the following terms:


Before using, accessing, downloading, or copying and/or printing any pages on this website, please read NICA's Single Copy License Terms of Use.  


By using this Northern Illinois Counseling Associates, P.C. (NICA) website and its services, you acknowledge notification of the terms of service and attest to an understanding of, acceptance of, and agreement to all of its terms of service.


Copyright © 2012, 1998 NORTHERN ILLINOIS COUNSELING ASSOCIATES, P.C. (NICA). All Rights Reserved.

No portion of this document may be copied or used by anyone without the express written permission of the owner.



HomeStaff | Services | FAQs | Forms | Articles | Legal | Contact Us | Site Map



The material presented within this website is informational only and is not intended as a substitute for professional services and assistance. We have endeavored to present accurate information, but cannot guarantee that the information on these web pages is always current or correct. We do not assume responsibility for any consequences that may result from using this web page or any sites. We do not necessarily endorse or support the contents, claims, or representations of the websites we provide links to, in whole or in part. While we try to respond to inquiries, we are unable to offer professional advice via email. If you require urgent care, contact Northern Illinois Counseling Associates, P.C. (NICA) at 815-455-6736 or email us at [email protected] to schedule an appointment. If you require emergency care, contact 911 or go the emergency center of your local hospital.

© 2016 Northern Illinois Counseling Associates, P.C.  All rights reserved.