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Marriage Rules/Wedding Rings

Marriage Rules©


By Dr. Larry B. Gelman


Everyone is always right from their subjective point of view!


It doesn’t mean they are right and it also doesn’t make them right, but everyone is always right from their point of view!


Consequently, unless and until we “try on for size" the other person’s frame of reference, it will not be possible to see the world as they view it.


As a case-in-point, consider the following example, viz., how much is half of eight?


Most people will say the answer is four.


In fact, they will often insist that there is really only one correct answer and any other point of view must be wrong.


Now suppose someone else comes along who “hears the beat of a different drummer”.


We ask this individual to answer the same question and their reply is: “That’s easy”, “one half of eight is zero!”


Our eyes open wide, our jaw hits the top of our shoes and we quickly conclude the other person must surely be nuts because everyone knows that one half of eight can only be four!


However, suppose we “try on for size” the frame of reference of the other person and invite them to let us in on how they see the situation.


We ask, “What do you mean?”


They reply that one half of 8 is 0.


I’ll show you.





One zero added onto another zero is 8, like a snowman.


Take half of the snowman away and you end up with a big fat zero!


So, too, with all perception, everyone is always right from their subjective point of view.


Unless, and until, we “try on for size” the frame of reference of the other person, we will virtually never share an overlapping perspective.


If two people never see the same thing, how can they share in the experience of it?


And if two people don’t work toward sharing a common frame of reference, how will they ever share their lives?


Once two people can “see” that one half of eight can be four and can also be zero, only then will both forever be changed.


Never again will either insist that the only correct point of view is their point of view.


Rather, the more useful point of view will likely be the shared or overlapping point of view.


Then, it may be possible to see how one half of eight can, under other circumstances, be 3, 8 and 1.


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