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Marriage Rules/Wedding Rings

Marriage Rules©


By Dr. Larry B. Gelman


One of the world’s best-kept secrets in saving a marriage is to make sure you are never in the position of having to save your marriage! 


To be sure “it takes two to tango”, and yet “an ounce of prevention” is usually better than a “pound of cure”. 


Practically, what is required is to become “friends, the very best of”, before you commit to your partner. 


The earlier in the relationship this can occur, the better because the better the friendship, the better the relationship and the better relationship, the better the marriage. 


In this instance, bigger isn’t better; better is better.  To be better, you have to start somewhere. 


Friendship is a very good place to start.  With a friend, you don’t have to be anyone, except who you are and not who you are not! 


If you don’t have to be anyone for your friend, then it is only fair that your friend doesn’t have to be anyone for you, either, except who they are, and not who they are not!  It is a simple foundational premise.


Of course, it is always important to improve, and so, being who you are and not who you are not, obligates you, as well, to also work at being better. 


Consequently, the friendship between, “friends, the very best of”, will develop, grow, and flourish or, alternatively, wither, rot and die. 


With a friend, you can and ought to be yourself; your “real Self”. No gimmicks, pretenses or games. 


And also with you, your friend can, and ought to, be who they really are, too.   The “real McCoy”.  “Honest Injun”.  No manipulation, fabrication or games. 


Friendship is that emerging and evolving context where it is truly safe for each to emerge and breathe free, “to be and not to be”, and to improve, to work at being, perhaps, a little different but, always, better. 


If your friendship is good and true, it may deepen so meaningfully that you and your friend become complementary sides of the same coin. 


Sort of like your “other half”- a part of you, apart from you - and vice-versa.


For if two people, “were in the beginning, now and in the end”, are really friends, good friends, best friends, then rarely will there ever any need for them to save their relationship. 


And when, coincidentally, you happen to be married to your very best friend, well, lucky you!


Because to have a very best friend, you have to be a very best friend and never, ever, ever take your best friend, for granted because, when you are married, you are always supposed to be “friends, the very best of”.


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