One of the world’s best-kept
secrets in saving a marriage is to make sure you are never in the
position of having to save your marriage!
To be sure “it takes two to
tango”, and yet “an ounce of prevention” is usually better than a
“pound of cure”.
Practically, what is required is
to become “friends, the very best of”, before you commit to your
The earlier in the relationship
this can occur, the better because the better the friendship, the
better the relationship and the better relationship, the better the
In this instance, bigger isn’t
better; better is better. To be better, you have to start
Friendship is a very good place
to start. With a friend, you don’t have to be anyone, except who
you are and not who you are not!
If you don’t have to be anyone
for your friend, then it is only fair that your friend doesn’t have
to be anyone for you, either, except who they are, and not who they
are not! It is a simple foundational premise.
Of course, it is always important
to improve, and so, being who you are and not who you are not,
obligates you, as well, to also work at being better.
Consequently, the friendship
between, “friends, the very best of”, will develop, grow, and
flourish or, alternatively, wither, rot and die.
With a friend, you can and ought
to be yourself; your “real Self”. No gimmicks, pretenses or games.
And also with you, your friend
can, and ought to, be who they really are, too. The “real McCoy”.
“Honest Injun”. No manipulation, fabrication or games.
Friendship is that emerging and
evolving context where it is truly safe for each to emerge and
breathe free, “to be and not to be”, and to improve, to work at
being, perhaps, a little different but, always, better.